The Psychology of Evil: Why Good People Turn Toxic

When we hear “evil”, we picture cartoon villains or heinous criminals (and politicians). But in everyday life – offices, friend circles, even within ourselves – a form of “evil” can creep in as destructive behavior, and it often doesn’t start out obviously. It’s more like a slow slide when good people double down on negative feelings. Psychologists studying the psychology of evil suggest it’s not usually about inherently “bad parts” in us, but rather everyday emotions like anger or resentment that spiral out of control and consume someone.

Think of that colleague who became so bitter after feeling wronged that they actively start sabotaging projects – not because they set out to be “evil”, but their unresolved negativity metastasized into harmful action. Or consider a time you were hurt and found yourself almost enjoying thoughts of revenge or seeing an “enemy” fail. It’s unsettling, right? As one psychologist Gena Gorlin notes, evil often appears both alien and familiar – there’s a part of us that recognizes the feelings, though in extreme form they seem monstrous.

So how does ordinary frustration turn into something we might call “evil” behavior? And importantly, how can we catch ourselves (and others) before crossing that line into destructive territory?

This isn’t academic – it’s something I’ve observed in workplaces and relationships. Let’s explore the antidotes:

When Hurt and Anger Take Over

We’ve all been wronged at some point – a boss took credit for our work, a friend betrayed trust, a partner cheated. Feeling hurt, angry or threatened is natural. Initially, it’s not “evil” to feel these. The danger lies in how we respond to those threats. Psychologist Roy Baumeister pointed out that evil acts often come from an exaggerated response to a perceived threat or grievance – essentially, good people trying to destroy what (or whom) they think is hurting them, but overshooting terribly.

Take a common workplace scenario: Ada works hard but her manager unfairly criticizes her in meetings, sometimes even stealing her ideas. Ada feels hurt and angry. That anger is valid! If channelled constructively, Ada might confront the boss or report to HR (a measured response to protect value of fair treatment). But Ada defaults to a destructive coping – she starts badmouthing the boss to anyone who’ll listen, she withholds information that could make her boss/team succeed, and she even rejoices quietly when a project of his fails. Ada’s initial grievance was legit, but her response is now harming not just her boss but her team and herself (professional reputation, stress levels). She’s stuck in what Gorlin describes as a “destructive spiral of anger and hurt, letting emotional reactions come untethered from actual values”.

In other words, Ada has let anger detach from its original purpose (seeking fairness) and turn into just hatred for hatred’s sake. That’s a psychological slide towards “evil” – when you start to enjoy seeing others hurt or fail, even beyond what’s needed to right the wrong.

The Choice Point: Double Down or Break the Cycle

According to experts, people become truly toxic (“evil”) not simply by having anger or fear, but by making a key choice repeatedly: when a flicker of self-awareness or doubt appears about their behavior, they double down on self-deception instead of self-reflection.

Let’s continue Ada’s story. Imagine one evening she realizes, “All this gossip and sabotage…is this really me? This isn’t solving anything.” That’s a moment of self-awareness – a chance to step back. If Ada faces it honestly, she might acknowledge her approach isn’t aligned with the values that actually make her happy (e.g., being collaborative, professional, focusing on her growth). She could then decide to channel her effort into finding a new job or giving her boss clear feedback or simply not letting his behaviour consume her identity.

But many people in Ada’s shoes take the other path: look away from that uncomfortable self-awareness and justify continuing on the destructive path. Ada might tell herself, “My boss humiliated me, he deserves whatever he gets. I’m the righteous avenger here.” She creates a narrative where her harmful actions are “for the greater good” or at least fully justified. Psychologists call this moral disengagement – convincing yourself that bad acts are acceptable given the circumstance. Each time Ada ignores her better judgment and doubles down, she goes a notch further down that dark path. Over months, she could transform from a wronged idealist to a chronic office “villain” – bitter, vengeful, possibly willing to even harm the company if it hurts her boss.

This choice point is crucial. As Dr. Gena Gorlin notes, “Most of us have engaged in at least some active resistance and evasion of our responsibility at least some of the time… The more you conceal this vice from yourself, the bigger a part of you it becomes.” In short, evil is often ordinary negativity metastasized through denial and repetition.

Signs You or Someone Else Is Slipping Into Toxic Territory

It’s rare that someone wakes up and is suddenly a moustache-twirling villain. It’s gradual. So what are red flags that you (or a colleague/friend) may be caught in a destructive spiral?

• Preoccupation with a Negative Target: You notice a person seems to get energy primarily from seeing a particular “enemy” suffer or fail, rather than from positive pursuits. For example, a colleague seems far more excited that “IT department’s plan failed because I told them so” than about any success in their own work. If someone’s motivation is largely fueled by resentment or revenge, that’s a bad sign. 

Ask: Are they doing anything to promote the positive thing they claim is threatened? (E.g., if they say they hate the boss for stifling innovation, are they themselves innovating anywhere? If not, maybe they’re driven more by hate than love of innovation).

• Victim Mentality with No Agency: They constantly see themselves as the victim of vast injustices and take little personal responsibility to change things. Everyone else (management, “the patriarchy”, “tribalism at work”, etc.) is to blame for all problems, and they are simply a martyr. While many external factors can indeed be unfair, an entrenched victim mindset can justify in one’s head any counter-attacks (“the system’s rigged, so I’m entitled to break rules or hurt others because I’ve been wronged”). If you find your internal monologue always casting yourself as powerless and others as malicious, catch that— it’s disempowering you from constructive action and feeding rage.
  
  

• Ends-justify-means Excuses: This one is classically “evil”: When someone starts believing that their cause is so righteous that it excuses lying, sabotage, or hurting bystanders. For instance, an employee thinks leaking confidential info to embarrass leadership is okay “because management is corrupt anyway.” Or a team lead belittles a team member in name of “discipline.” If you hear justifications like “they deserved it” or “I had no choice but to do X harmful thing,” be alert. Sometimes that’s true, but often it’s a slippery slope rationalization.
  
  

• Isolation and Echo Chambers: A person sliding negatively often stops engaging with anyone who challenges them. They may form an echo chamber (or online group) of like-minded aggrieved individuals where they feed each other’s resentments, rather than seeking solutions or balanced perspectives. For example, an ousted employee might join a WhatsApp group of other resentful ex-staff and spend hours daily trashing their former employer rather than moving on. If you find you’re only comfortable talking to those who reinforce your hatred and you avoid those who give constructive criticism, that’s a red flag in yourself.
  
  

• Enjoyment of Others’ Pain (Schadenfreude) Becomes Pronounced: It’s human to occasionally feel a tinge of satisfaction when an arrogant person falters. But if you notice you’re genuinely excited or joyful at someone’s downfall beyond normal rivalry, reflect on why. Has your hatred grown out of proportion? Greg Salmieri, a philosopher, notes that an “extra, residual” emotional charge of hate beyond rational cause is a sign your motivation might be drifting from love of a value to just hate of a perceived enemy.
  
  

In Gorlin’s terms, evil character is essentially when negativity (hate, fear) becomes untethered from positive values and takes on a life of its own. The above signs show that untethering.

Stopping the Descent – Choosing Construction Over Destruction

The good news: slipping into toxicity isn’t irreversible. It does, however, require brutally honest self-reflection and a shift of focus to positive values. Here are some strategies:

• Re-anchor to Your Core Values: Ask yourself, what do I actually want to build or achieve in life and work? Focus on that rather than on thwarting someone else. For Ada, it might be remembering “I value creativity and collaboration; that’s why I loved my job initially.” If those are truly her values, spending all energy tearing down her boss or company isn’t serving them. Consciously redirect to pursuing constructive goals (maybe in a new workplace if needed). Gorlin suggests doubling down on positives makes the “evil” impulses atrophy. In plain terms: fill your life with pursuits and people you care about so there’s no room or time for stewing in hate.
  
  

• Practice Empathy and Perspective-Taking: This is tough in anger, but try stepping outside your own POV. Is the person you see as “evil” truly so, or just flawed or mistaken? In Ada’s case, maybe her boss is insecure or under pressure – not to excuse his behavior, but to reduce her demonization of him. Seeing shades of gray can reduce the intensity of resentment. Often “evil” requires thinking of the other as purely evil; breaking that illusion can dial down the feud. Psychologist Gena Gorlin has witnessed “spectacular redemption arcs” when people confronted the humanity in those they villainized and in themselves.
  
  

• Seek Objective Counsel or Therapy: Sometimes you need a neutral third party (a coach, therapist, or wise friend) to call you out gently. They can help you see if you’re overreacting or caught in a spiral. The act of explaining the situation to an outsider can reveal exaggerations or blind spots. For example, you might realize “Actually, three people gave me feedback, but I fixated only on the one negative bit.” Therapists often help clients see where they’re giving up agency by blaming everything external – and then empower them to regain control.
  
  

• Do an “Integrity scan” on yourself regularly: Salmieri (the philosopher) likens unchecked emotionalism to a cancer that grows when reason is absent. So practice a habit (maybe weekly journaling or quiet reflection) to scan: “Am I holding onto any major grudges? Am I acting in ways contrary to my core principles? If someone I respect observed my behavior, would I be proud?” Being honest at these small junctures prevents build-up of lies that form a full-blown self-deception narrative. Essentially, catch the tumor when it’s small.
  
  

• Refocus on Positive Relationships: If you’ve isolated, reconnect with those who bring out your better side – mentors, positive colleagues, supportive friends. They can remind you of who you are at your best. It’s harder to indulge dark fantasies when you’re engaged in enjoyable, meaningful activities with people you care about. For Ada, having coffee with a friend from another department who is upbeat could remind her that not everyone is against her and there are still things to enjoy at work beyond her boss.
  
  

• Know When to Remove Yourself: In some cases, the environment might be so toxic that even a saint would struggle to remain positive. If you are truly in a den of “evil” (say, a corrupt organization or abusive relationship), the healthiest choice is to get out rather than let it twist you. Some fights you don’t engage in head-on; you leave and find a healthier space to invest your energy. There’s no shame in walking away to protect your own values and well-being.
  
  

In summary, to “fight evil” – whether in a community or within – one must consciously strive for the good. As Gorlin emphasizes: reorient towards the values at stake. That could mean doubling efforts to support victims of a workplace bully rather than just attacking the bully, or campaigning for transparency in a system rather than simply flaming corrupt officials online. Focus on building the opposite of what you hate.

One practical tip I love: for every negative thought or complaint you catch yourself repeating, force yourself to articulate a constructive alternative or solution – however small. It trains the mind to not dwell in destructive mode too long.

Evil feeds on emptiness; Fill life with purpose

An insightful analogy by Greg Salmieri: he compares unchecked emotionalism to a tumor – cells multiplying out of sync with the organism’s needs. In a healthy person, reason and positive purpose regulate our “emotional cells” to grow only in ways that serve our life. When reason (“the master” as he calls it) is absent, fear and hatred can grow unregulated, like cancer.

The way to keep “evil” at bay is therefore to keep one’s rational, purpose-driven self in charge. That means:

• Keep asking, “What am I actually trying to achieve? Will this action help or hurt that?”
  
  

• Don’t act on fear or anger in the moment; step back and think of long-term consequences.
  
  

• Surround yourself with people who challenge you to be better (they act like an immune system against your worst impulses).
  
  

If you find yourself overly excited by negative news (like a rival failing) or plotting elaborate revenge fantasies, pause and pivot. Try channeling that fire into something positive – e.g., use the frustration with a bad boss to draft a plan for the kind of leader you aspire to be and focus on that growth.

And importantly, practice forgiveness – not necessarily for the other person’s benefit, but for yours. Letting go of past harms frees you to pursue future goods. It doesn’t mean forgetting or condoning, it means refusing to let the harm define you or dictate your actions going forward.

Ultimately, the opposite of evil is creative, life-affirming work. People who are busy building (a career, a family, a community project, an art) have less time and inclination to destroy. As the saying goes, the best revenge is massive success – not to rub it in anyone’s face, but because living well nullifies those who tried to bring you down.

So next time you feel the “dark side” calling – that seductive pull to gossip viciously, to rejoice in an enemy’s pain, to sabotage someone – remember it’s a trap. You think it will satisfy you, but it leaves you emptier and more bitter, asking for more of the poison. The real satisfaction comes from refocusing on your values, steering by the stars of what you love, not the black holes of what you hate.

Evil (or severe toxicity) in friends or colleagues may not be yours to cure, but you can set boundaries to not get sucked in, and perhaps be an example by staying positive yourself. Many “evil” people are deeply unhappy; some might even find their way out if shown a better path (some won’t, and you may need to distance – each case is unique).

To end on an empowering note: everyone has the capacity for good far greater than the capacity for evil, if we nurture it. By staying self-aware, seeking growth over revenge, and doubling down on decency even when it’s hard, we not only guard our own character, we also influence those around us. In the face of negativity, doubling down on building something better is the ultimate antidote.

As Dr. Gorlin observed in her practice, she’s seen “spectacular redemption arcs” – proof that even those who strayed far into darkness can come back to the good with the right insights and choices. That’s a comforting thought: no matter how far one has slid, turning around is possible the moment one stops doubling down on death and decides to fight for the good.