Nepo Baby vs ‘LAPO’ Baby: Nigerians Share Their Stories on Nepotism

For some people, landing a job is as easy as calling up a family friend. For others, it’s years of sending out CVs into the void. Lately on X (formerly Twitter), these two extremes have been dubbed “nepo babies” and “LAPO babies.” A nepo baby (short for nepotism baby) is someone who gets career boosts thanks to family connections. LAPO baby, a term coined in Nigeria, stands for “Little Access to Privilege/Opportunity” – basically the opposite of a nepo baby. It’s the person who starts with no connections or wealth, hustling their way up from scratch.

This online debate about nepotism has people heated, touching on fairness, privilege, and how the world really works. To get past the tweets and hear the real stories, we asked Nigerians in our community to share their personal experiences. From those who got a leg up from daddy’s phone call to those who say they’d grab any opportunity if they had one, here are ten honest accounts that shed light on what it means to be a nepo baby (or a LAPO baby) in today’s job market.

“They call me ‘my dad’s son’ at work, and I hate it” — Dayo*, 24, Lagos

After applying to hundreds of jobs with no luck, Dayo* finally landed a software engineering role at the tech company where his father works. He’s grateful to have a foot in the door, but the reception from his colleagues has been less than warm.

“The job market was so bad that I applied to literally hundreds of companies on my own. I got maybe a couple of interviews out of all that, and zero offers. Nothing.

Finally, my dad referred me to his company (he works in tech too) and I managed to get a developer job there. Just like that. So yeah… I’m a nepo baby. I won’t lie about it.

But now everyone in the office just knows me as ‘Mr. Akinbile’s son. They don’t even bother using my actual name. And I hate that. The way some co-workers act around me, it’s like they’ve already decided I don’t deserve to be here. I get why people side-eye the boss’s kid, but at the same time I wonder; why does it leave such a sour taste in their mouth even when the person is busting their ass and doing a good job? I’m putting in 110%, yet I still feel like I have this stigma attached to me every single day.”

“Our manager got his son hired, then bragged about his ‘talent’” — Aisha*, 31, Abuja

At her company’s lunch table, Aisha* witnessed a jaw-dropping case of nepotism – and the manager’s total lack of self-awareness about it.

“I remember one of our project managers complaining during lunch about how hard it was for his son to get a job after college. He said the poor kid had sent his CV everywhere and wasn’t getting any interviews. We all kind of sympathized at the time.

A few weeks later, that same manager pulls strings to get his son an interview at our company. Surprise, surprise — the son gets the job. We weren’t exactly shocked, because we knew why he got in so easily.

What really got me was what happened after. The manager comes back to the lunch table, chest puffed out, loudly declaring that all those other companies must be terrible at spotting talent, since his son got hired here so easily. He was literally patting himself on the back for his kid’s “talent”! The rest of us were just exchanging looks like, Is this guy serious? We all knew exactly how his son got that role. But the lack of self-awareness was so unreal.”

“All my jobs came from knowing someone. It is what it is.” — Tunde*, 27, Lagos

For Tunde*, connections have been the not-so-secret key to his career success. He doesn’t necessarily like it, but he’s honest about how he got where he is.

“I’ve gotten all three of my jobs since graduating because I knew someone on the inside who put in a good word for me. Three out of three. That’s a 100% hit rate thanks to referrals. It sounds kind of bad, I know, and part of me feels guilty that this is how I had to break in.

But it is what it is. The way I see it, in this job market you use any advantage you’ve got. If that means a family friend or an old classmate helps get your résumé to the top of the pile, then that’s what you do. I don’t think I’d even have a career right now if I hadn’t leaned on those connections.”

“I grew up with nothing. Of course I’d take a leg up if I could.” — Segun*, 30, Ibadan

Segun* never had any connections or family wealth to lean on, and he knows exactly what he missed out on. He doesn’t begrudge anyone who gets an easy ride; he openly admits he’d do the same.

“I grew up poor as hell. My dad works in a factory, so there were zero fancy connections waiting to hand me opportunities. I had to grind for everything. And you know what? If I could’ve avoided even half the hardships I went through,  if all it took was one phone call from my father to land me a good job, I’d do it in a heartbeat. No shame about it.

People love to go on and on about how nepotism is so unfair. Yeah, it is unfair. But let’s be serious joor: if I had a chance to make my life significantly less shitty through a family hookup, you better believe I would take that chance. Who wouldn’t? It’s easy to act high and mighty about “merit” when you’re not the one struggling. Until you’ve been on the other side, you don’t know what you’d do. Me, I’d grab any help I could get. And I don’t think that makes me a bad person.”

“Should I use the golden ticket my family gave me, or try to earn it myself?” — Kelechi*, 23, Port Harcourt

Kelechi* is an undergraduate student with opportunities most people can only dream of. Her family connections could guarantee her a top job, but she’s torn over whether to take the easy route or prove herself on her own.

“I’m still in university (planning to start my master’s next year), and my career path is basically laid out for me because of my family. My uncle is tight with the CEO of a global company in my field. On top of that, my family has its own business, and my aunt runs another successful company. So yeah, everything’s kind of been handed to me on a silver platter. I could probably step into a high-paying job straight out of school just by making a couple of calls.

As nice as that sounds, I really don’t want to be known as someone who only got her success because of her family. I want to make a name for myself. I want people to say I earned my position, not that it was just given to me.

But then I look at how insanely hard it is to get a good job these days, especially in my industry, and I hesitate. Like, am I stupid for not just taking the advantage I have? My whole family certainly thinks so — they flat-out call me crazy for even considering any other route. They’re like, “Why on earth would you struggle when you literally have a golden ticket?” And honestly, I don’t have a great answer. It would feel better to get success on my own merits… but what if I try that and get nowhere? It’s this constant dilemma: do I cash in the nepotism cheat code I was born with, or do I insist on finding my own way up? I still haven’t decided, and it’s stressing me out.”

“There are levels to nepotism, and life isn’t perfectly fair anyway” — Pascal*, 35, Port Harcourt

With over a decade in his industry, Pascal* has seen it all. He believes nepotism comes in different shades, and he’s learned to be pragmatic about it. In his view, everyone has some unfair advantages – and giving yours up won’t magically make the world fairer.

“I honestly think there are levels to this nepotism thing. Not all “nepo babies” are the same. There’s the mild kind, where the only help you got was your résumé reaching the right person because your dad or mom knew somebody, but after that, you had to actually nail the interviews and prove yourself to get hired. Then there’s a higher level, where you did get the job over someone more qualified purely due to connections, but you’re at least competent and you end up doing fine in the role. And finally, there’s the worst case: the true nepotism hire who is blatantly unqualified, only got the job because of family, and is now dragging the whole team down because they can’t do the work. I’ve seen a couple of those in my time, and that’s the scenario that gives nepotism its bad name.

Here’s the thing though: everyone comes into the working world with some kind of advantage or disadvantage. The world is not a perfectly level playing field, not even close. Maybe your advantage is that your parents could afford to send you to a top private school or you grew up in a neighborhood with great public schools. Maybe it’s that you didn’t have to work a job during university so you could focus on studies. A lot of people who think they made it purely on merit actually had a bunch of hidden privileges backing them. They still had to work hard, sure, but if that same hard-working person had been born in a poorer family or a different environment, maybe they wouldn’t have gotten as far. That’s just reality.

I know some folks who feel guilty when they benefit from any unfair edge. They think, oh, I should’ve stepped aside and let someone more qualified get the job. I get the sentiment, but I’ve thought about it and here’s what I realized: One, there’s no guarantee the “next in line” candidate (the one you think is more qualified or more deserving) isn’t also getting some kind of leg up. For all you know, if it wasn’t you, it could’ve been some other manager’s cousin getting that role, and they might be even worse at the job. And two, if all the ethical, well-meaning people refuse to use the advantages at their disposal, guess who’s going to take those open slots? The not-so-ethical people who have zero qualms about exploiting every connection and every privilege. Them stepping aside won’t suddenly make hiring processes 100% fair — it’ll just tilt things in favor of those who are shameless.

So my attitude is: If you got in through a connection, don’t overthink it. You’re in the door now, make the most of it. Work hard, pull your weight, be humble, and prove that you actually deserve to stay there. In the long run, your results will speak for themselves. Earn respect that way. It’s better than sitting around feeling like you should apologize for getting the opportunity. None of us starts at the exact same starting line, anyway.”

“I got plenty of help too, so I won’t judge a nepo baby… unless they act entitled” — Ipemida*, 28, U.S.

Ipemida* works in tech and acknowledges that she’s had a lot of help to get where she is. She doesn’t hold anyone’s lucky break against them, as long as they pull their weight. The only time she’s had an issue with a “nepo hire” was when the person’s attitude stank.

“I’ve definitely had advantages in my career. My first job out of college? I only got the interview because a good friend of mine (who had graduated a couple years before me) referred me internally. That was a huge leg up. I had other boosts too, I was lucky to graduate in the mid-2010s when the job market was super hot for new grads. Plus, my parents could afford to help with my living expenses while I did unpaid internships, and they co-signed my student loans so I could even attend the university I wanted. On top of that, I grew up in an area with excellent public schools, which set me up well for college. So yeah, I know I wouldn’t be where I am without a lot of help from family, friends, and mentors along the way.

Because of that, I really try not to judge anyone who got a job through connections. If a “nepo baby” coworker is putting in the effort and isn’t acting like an arrogant jerk, I’m not going to treat them any differently. Why would I? I got a foot in the door thanks to people I knew, too. We’re all just trying to get by, and if they’re doing the work, then what’s the problem? I’ll save my judgment for actual performance, not how you got the job.

Now, I have encountered the other kind of scenario. There was one guy at a previous company who was absolutely a nepo hire; his uncle was one of the executives. And unfortunately, this guy totally lived up to the stereotype of the spoiled rich kid. He was cocky, didn’t respect anyone, and acted like the rules didn’t apply to him because his family “owned” us or something. Never in my life have I disliked a coworker more. The whole team felt it. So I do get why people resent nepotism when it results in that kind of situation. Nobody likes working with someone who’s only there because of connections and has a bad attitude. If you have a leg up, the least you can do is stay humble and pull your weight.”

“People who whine about nepotism should mind their own business” — Titus*, 34, Lagos

Titus* works at a small engineering firm where his father-in-law is the boss. In his case, family ties landed him the job, but he feels he’s under extra pressure to prove himself. He’s fed up with coworkers (and outsiders) making snide remarks, and he has some choice words for the haters.

“Yes, my father-in-law is literally my boss. So what? That connection might have gotten me in the door, but it sure as hell doesn’t mean I have it easy. If anything, I’m under a microscope. Every little mistake I make — the same tiny mistakes anyone else might make and shrug off — gets noticed and magnified. I feel like I have to be twice as good to be seen as half as good, if you get what I’m saying. We’re a small firm, so I wear a lot of hats: I do surveying, I do design engineering, I manage projects… I bust my butt. I know I’m good at my job because I’ve had to be. Frankly, I wouldn’t even call myself a “nepo baby” in the usual sense, because I’m not coasting on any family name here.

At the end of the day, I’ve noticed something: the people who bitch the loudest about nepotism are usually just not happy with their own careers. They need an excuse for why they’re stuck, so they point fingers and say, “Oh, so-and-so only got ahead because of family connections.” It’s always easier to blame someone else’s privilege than to work on yourself. My message to them? Mind your own damn business and grind. Life isn’t fair, we all know that. Some of us get a head start, some don’t. You can’t spend your life obsessing over someone else’s advantage. Use that energy to improve your own situation. I’m here pulling my weight and then some. Maybe if the haters focused on doing the same, they’d get ahead too.”

“I used to sneer at nepo babies, turns out I was just jealous” — Chidi*, 29, UK

Chidi* admits that in his early 20s he had a chip on his shoulder about colleagues who had mommy or daddy’s help. Now that he’s older (and a bit wiser), his perspective has flipped. He even hopes he can be in a position to give his own kids a leg up someday.

“When I was fresh out of school, I hated the idea of “nepo babies.” I’m talking full-on eye-roll anytime I heard someone got a job through their dad or aunt or whatever. I felt it was so unfair and infuriating. And a lot of people around me felt the same, it’s almost like a sport to hate on anyone who got handed an opportunity.

Over time, I’ve really changed my tune. These days, I honestly don’t care how someone got in the door, as long as they respect the job and aren’t complete douchebags about it. If you’re competent and you recognize that you got lucky, I’ve got no issues. The only time I’ll still get annoyed is if a nepo baby acts entitled or doesn’t even try to learn and grow. But if they’re a decent person doing their work? Live and let live.

Now that I’m pushing 30, I think about the future differently. One of my biggest goals in life is to be successful enough that I can provide my future children with opportunities I never had. Seriously. I want to be able to open doors for my kid if they need it. And I’m pretty sure most parents feel that way. It’s really hard to get ahead these days without at least a little help. Unless you’re some one-in-a-million prodigy (or ridiculously lucky), you’re going to need connections, mentorship, something. So why wouldn’t I use my hard-earned network or resources to give my kid a boost? I’d only draw the line if my kid was completely uninterested or unqualified — I’m not about to force a path on them. But if they’re capable and just need that foot in the door, you bet I’d help.

I also realized something else: in more traditional or blue-collar lines of work, nobody bats an eye at a son taking over his father’s trade. If a mechanic brings his kid into the workshop to learn the ropes, people actually respect that as passing on a legacy. I come from a blue-collar family myself, and it was normal for kids to follow in their parent’s footsteps. But in competitive fields like tech or finance, suddenly it’s a scandal if Dad helps Junior get an internship. I finally understood that my own resentment was coming from a place of envy. I saw someone have it easier than me and it made me mad. I’m humble enough now to admit that.

And here’s the kicker: if your parent or uncle or whoever goes out on a limb to recommend you for a job, that actually says something. They’re not going to risk their reputation for you if they think you’ll mess up. They have skin in the game. In a weird way, that recommendation is a sign they believe in your ability. Plus, once you’re in, you still have to prove yourself. Getting hired is just step one. I’ve seen nepo hires flame out quick when they couldn’t deliver. So yeah, I’ve stopped worrying about how someone got the job. Your work will speak for itself soon enough. My attitude now? Fuck what anyone else thinks. If you’re doing good work and you appreciate the opportunity you got, just keep pushing. Haters are always gonna hate.”

“I know I owe my start to Dad – but I want to be seen for me” — Jessica*, 25, Lagos

Jessica* works as a paralegal at the small law firm her father helped found. She’s talented and hardworking, and everyone at the firm treats her professionally. Still, it bothers her that whenever she meets new people in the industry, she’s immediately labeled as “the boss’s daughter” before anything else.

“I work at a fairly small law firm — four attorneys in total — and one of them just so happens to be my dad. In fact, he co-founded the firm years ago. So yes, I literally got my start here by working as a legal assistant for my father. To be fair, I didn’t waltz into a senior role or anything. I started at the bottom, like filing paperwork and answering phones. Over time, one of the other lawyers noticed I was good at those tasks and asked me to help him out too. Eventually, when our receptionist left, I was offered a full-time paralegal position with the whole firm. So I did earn my responsibilities gradually, but let’s be honest: I wouldn’t have even been in the room to prove myself if it weren’t for my Daddy. I’m very aware of that. I’ve basically been trained for this role by my own father, and I’m grateful. I have skills and knowledge that I wouldn’t have if he hadn’t brought me in and mentored me.

The great thing is that because we’re so small, it honestly feels pretty meritocratic day to day. Everyone knows I’m the boss’s kid, but they also see the work I do and we treat each other with respect. In the office, my dad is just another attorney when it comes to case discussions, it’s not like he coddles me. In fact, he might even be tougher on me to avoid any appearance of favoritism. And I try to be extra professional to compensate for the nepotism element. I think my colleagues appreciate that.

The only time I really feel the “nepo baby” tag is when I’m meeting new people in a professional setting outside our firm. For example, if I accompany one of the other attorneys to court or a networking event, I’ll inevitably be introduced as “So-and-so’s daughter.” Every. Single. Time. It’s never just “here’s Bisi, she’s a paralegal at XYZ firm.” It’s always prefaced with the fact that I’m my father’s daughter. I do understand it – my dad’s name carries weight and those connections can spark a conversation. People instantly know who I am because of him. But I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t bother me at all. A part of me is like, hey, I’ve been working here for a while and I’m actually competent – can we not make my entire identity about being the boss’s kid?

I guess it’s a small price to pay because I love my job and I love that I get to work with family. But yeah, I want people to recognize me for my work, not just whose daughter I am. Is that too much to ask?”

*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals who shared their stories.

The Bottomline

So, which is “better”? Being a nepo baby or a LAPO baby? In truth, neither guarantees success or failure. A nepo baby might get through the door faster, but they still have to earn respect through hard work (and avoid the pitfalls of entitlement). A LAPO baby might take the longer, tougher road, but the struggle can build resilience and pride. At the end of the day, life isn’t fair, and the playing field will never be completely even. What really matters is what you do with the hand you’re dealt.