There’s a hot take making the rounds that “movies don’t need sex scenes” at all. The argument goes something like this: these scenes add nothing to the story, they interrupt the flow (as jarringly as a random commercial break), and no one is sitting there thinking, “Gee, I wish this film had more nudity.”
I’ll admit, I understand where this feeling comes from. We’ve all sat through an awkward or gratuitous intimate scene that made us roll our eyes or reach for the fast-forward button. Poorly executed sex scenes can be cringey or feel pointless – on that, even I agree. But to claim that no film ever benefits from an intimate scene? That’s an oversimplification that sells cinema short. When done right, sex scenes can serve legitimate narrative and artistic purposes. In fact, sometimes they’re as essential to character and story as a powerful line of dialogue or a pivotal action sequence.
The Case Against Intimacy (and Why It Falls Short)
First, let’s give the skeptics their due: not every movie needs a sex scene. Plenty of great films have zero on-screen intimacy and do just fine. And yes, a gratuitous sex scene can absolutely disrupt a movie’s pacing or tone. If it’s thrown in just for shock value or to appease a marketing formula, viewers can tell. A badly done sex scene is like a bad special effect – it pulls you out of the story.
For example, the 1995 cult film Showgirls has an infamously over-the-top pool scene that many cite as a lesson in what not to do; it’s so unconvincing that it yanks the audience out of the moment and into discomfort. And honestly, beyond the film-school critiques, there’s the awkwardness factor: a lot of viewers (especially in more conservative cultures, like many of us in Africa) simply feel uncomfortable watching intimate content on screen.
Not you, South Africa, we know what you be getting up to
Not you, South Africa, we know what you be getting up to
We’ve all been there: suddenly, an R-rated scene pops up while you’re watching with your parents, and everyone promptly finds the ground fascinating. Personally, the clock always does it for me because I get to watch the minutes tick by slowly and agonizingly.
So yes, the anti-sex-scene crowd has some valid points. If a scene is purely gratuitous, if it “destroys the flow” with no payoff, then it shouldn’t be there. And filmmakers aiming for broad family audiences probably don’t need to push the envelope unnecessarily. But here’s the thing: good filmmakers already know that. The best directors and writers include intimate scenes only when those moments add something real – something that can’t be conveyed through mere hints or clothed conversations. Dismissing all sex scenes as useless ignores the many instances where they deeply enrich a story.
When a Sex Scene Serves the Story
Think of a truly memorable movie romance or a complex character relationship. Often, the moments of physical intimacy on screen aren’t about titillation at all – but rather about storytelling. They reveal sides of characters, turning points in relationships, or underlying tensions. Something I read once put it this way:
“Good sex scenes are like any other kind of good filmmaking... it comes down to execution with purpose and care, relative to whatever the scene’s function is”.
In other words, when the intimate moment has a clear purpose, it can be golden.
At this point, a few examples come to mind:
Character Development and Dynamics:Magic Mike’s Last Dance (2023) features an early seductive dance scene between Maxandra (Salma Hayek) and my evergreen fave Mike (Channing Tatum) that is certainly steamy, but it’s not there just to be hot. It establishes the power dynamic and the personalities of these two characters, central to the story, without a word. Mike is a seasoned pro, confident yet respectful, and Max is assertive but yearning for passion. Again, that scene establishes their chemistry and conflicts without a single line of dialogue. Far from killing the flow, it is the flow – driving the story of their partnership forward.
Emotional Truth: I’m a sucker for rom-coms and pure romances in general, so don’t beat me if I wax lyrical about one of the most important entries in the genre in the 2000s, Love & Basketball (2000). Also, it’s black love, so you get it. Anyway, if you haven’t seen it, there’s a tender love scene where our two lifelong friends Monica and Quincy finally become something more. It’s really not Hollywood gloss; it’s a bit awkward, shy, and endearingly real, reflecting the fact that it’s both characters’ first time. The scene speaks volumes about their vulnerability and the depth of their feelings. Later in the film, when they reconnect as adults, a more assured intimacy scene shows how their bond (and they themselves) have matured over the years. This progression simply wouldn’t hit as hard if the film just panned to a closed door and left it all to the imagination. Showing the contrast in those intimate moments over time is key to understanding their relationship arc.
Story and Theme: Sometimes a sex scene carries symbolic or narrative weight beyond the obvious. Christopher Nolan’s Oppenheimer (2023) provides a recent example. Nolan isn’t one to really include spicy content (iirc), so when a brief sex scene between Jean Tatlock and Robert appears, some viewers (self included) were startled. But that scene isn’t pointless at all – it puts us squarely in the troubled mind of Kitty Oppenheimer. It’s uncomfortable, yes, but intentionally so; it makes us feel Kitty’s jealousy and anguish in a visceral way. Here you see an intimate visual being used as a storytelling device, and its existence is more than justified; we get a better understanding of a marriage under strain, and it’s gone in a blink once it’s done its job.
Authenticity and Believability: Here we enter testy waters. Let me be clear, I stand with critics and viewers that say Blue Is the Warmest Color took its sex scenes too far (in case you couldn’t guess, I DO NOT like this film), but even I am pressed to admit that it serves a purpose unlike any other. Raw and unfiltered, intimacy was central to the BITWC, and since the director wanted to “invite viewers into [the characters’] world without pretense,” in a bid to capture the overwhelming passion of first love; then it’s a job well done. Same goes for Brokeback Mountain, which finds more favor in my eyes, and we wouldn’t be able to have a story of forbidden love between two men in a conservative time and place WITHOUT its intimate scenes. It just doesn’t work and would actually have been a mockery of the subject matter if it had attempted to gloss over it all. You also don’t feel the ache and most especially, risk of their love affair, to be honest…
There's More...
If those examples aren’t enough, then take 2017’s Academy Award for Best Picture winner Moonlight. There’s a quiet beach scene between Chiron and his childhood friend, Kevin that’s intimate without trying to be loud about it. It’s not there to “spice things up.” It’s there because it’s one of the first times the main character experiences tenderness without performance, without armour. That moment becomes emotional shorthand for the rest of the film. You understand what he’s chasing and what he’s afraid of losing, because you saw the one time it felt safe.
Or look at A History of Violence (2005). This film does something clever: it uses intimacy twice with the same couple, but the scenes are almost opposites. Early on, sex is playful and warm. Later, it turns unsettling as the character’s hidden life bleeds into the marriage. The point isn’t the nudity. The point is the shift. You watch love get contaminated by fear and secrecy in real time. A fade-to-black would have softened the change the story is trying to force you to confront.
Finally, because I live my life playing out different ways conversations can go and always want to have a comeback for any “gotcha” moments; let’s talk The Wolf of Wall Street. INFAMOUS, and perhaps the number 1 movie the anti-sex scenes camp quotes, you need to realise the irony of that argument. It’s satirical. It’s excess on purpose. The film is showing you appetite with no brakes, and it does it in the same spirit it shows the drugs and the spending and the reckless bravado. If the movie kept politely cutting away, it would be lying about the kind of life it’s critiquing. You wouldn’t like that, would you? (Don’t answer this.)
Context Matters: Knowing Your Audience and Intent
It’s worth noting that context and cultural sensibilities matter. A gratuitous nude scene in a family comedy would obviously be out of place. Likewise, different audiences have different thresholds. Here in Africa, many of us grew up with more conservative media standards – love scenes were often censored or implied rather than shown. The average Nigerian cinema-goer might prefer the fade-to-black approach, not out of prudishness, but because of cultural norms around modesty. I remember looking at some of the films that were considered no-go areas when I was younger, only to realise how TAME most were. Still, it’s understandable: nobody wants a gratuitous or graphic encounter sprung on them unawares.
However, avoiding something just because it’s uncomfortable isn’t the hallmark of great storytelling.
The key is execution.
If a filmmaker includes an intimate scene, it needs to earn its keep in the narrative. When it does, even skeptical viewers can recognize why it’s there. And with clear content ratings and streaming platforms, viewers have more choice than ever – those who truly can’t stand such scenes can steer towards tamer content. But blanket statements like “sex scenes serve no purpose” ignore the nuance of filmmaking. It’s like saying movies shouldn’t have sad scenes because some people don’t like feeling sad – it misses the point that storytelling isn’t just about comfort; it’s about making us feel something meaningful to the story.
The Bottom Line
At the end of the day, whether a sex scene “needs” to be in a movie comes down to one simple question: Does it serve the story or deepen our understanding of the characters? If it does, then it has as much right to be there as a dramatic showdown, a tearful goodbye, or a plot twist. If it doesn’t, then bye-bye-bye
But let’s not throw the baby out with the bathwater. Rather than declaring an all-out ban on intimacy in film, we should be encouraging creators to do it well – to make it matter when they show it, and to be mindful of the audience’s experience. It’s like any tool in a filmmaker’s kit: when used properly, it works; when used clumsily, it sticks out.
So yes, let’s call out the lazy, shoehorned-in sex scenes that do feel like unnecessary commercials in the middle of a movie. But let’s also acknowledge and appreciate the films that get it right.
The next time someone says “movies don’t need sex scenes,” I’d counter that good movies don’t need unnecessary sex scenes – but the key word there is “unnecessary.” The best filmmakers only include what serves the story, and sometimes what the story needs is a poignant, well-crafted intimate moment. It might not be everyone’s cup of tea, and that’s okay. But for storytelling as a whole, those moments, when earned, are not distractions at all – they’re often the very scenes that linger in our minds long after the credits roll.
